When I was growing up in southwestern Ohio, the Cincinnati Reds were my team, and the names that flashed through their roster were the heroes of my youth.

I had many favorite players during those years, not the least of whom was Tom Browning.  I liked watching Browning pitch - I was in Riverfront Stadium on September 16, 1988 when he threw his perfect game against my now-beloved Dodgers, and on June 19, 1993 when he hit one of his two career home runs.  This one off of Orel Hershiser, pitching for... erm... the Dodgers.

You know, come to think of it, if Browning had played exclusively against the Dodgers, he may have been a Hall of Famer.  A 56.5% winning percentage, 3.92 ERA, 3 shutouts including a perfect game, 1.254 WHIP against the Dodgers. 

In a career that spanned 12 seasons, Browning went 123-90, with 12 shutouts, a 3.94 ERA, 97 ERA+, and a 1.271 WHIP with an even 1,000 strikeouts.  Plus, he was arguably the ace of the 1990 team that swept the heavily-favored Oakland Athletics (complete with Bash Brothers Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco) in the World Series.

Tom Browning was definitely a hero of mine.  But sometimes we learn things about our heroes.  Things that prove that not only are they not worthy of being worshipped, they are actually terrible people.

Terrible, terrible people. 

And when you find out that a pitcher who made approximately seventeen million dollars in just just twelve years doesn't pay his child support, as well as whatever money he made on his book, Tom Browning's Tales from the Reds Dugout in 2006, it really makes you sick to your stomach.

Browning, now a pitching coach for the Reds' AA affiliate, the Carolina Mudcats, was arrested for nonpayment of over $99,000 in child support.  Classy, Tom.  Really classy.

And to think... I actually winced when I physically watched your arm separate from your shoulder.

I love Tommy Lasorda.  He has a great mind for the game he loves - the game that has embraced him for over five decades.  What he doesn't have is a solid understanding of steroids, as witnessed by Ramona Shelburne's recent article in which Lasorda defends Mike Piazza against accusations of steroids use.

Jeff Pearlman, of Sports Illustrated, wrote a book which mentioned Piazza's alleged steroid use.  I never knew Mike during my time with the Dodgers organization, but the strong buzz  was that Mike was a user.  In fact, it was almost taken as fact, though I can't tell you that any of the people I ever heard about it from had ever actually met Mike, much less had insider information on whether or not he used steroids.

But Mr. Lasorda's comments defending Mike bordered on absurd:

"I don't believe that at all. He worked so hard. I saw him in the weight room working out all the time."

I don't know the ins and outs of steroids, as my career line will prove.  But in the mid-nineties, at least, they simply didn't do much by themselves.  They required the user to follow up with hard work in the weight room.  They would enable a player to work out harder, longer, and with a significantly-lower recuperation time.  In order for them to be most effective, a player would have had to work hard and put a lot of time into the weight room.

"I just don't believe it. He comes from a family that's full of good people."

Everyone knows that Mr. Lasorda was a friend of Mike's father, Vince, for a long time before Mike ever surfaced as a catching prospect.  He's the godfather of one of Mike's brother.  He can speak with absolute authority on the integrity of the Piazza family.

But, believe it or not, even people who come from families full of good people can do steroids.  Woody Booher, Roger Clemens' stepfather (whom he considers his father to this day), worked long hours at a tool-and-die factory and brought a gallon of ice cream home for his family every other night.

It didn't stop Roger from (allegedly) taking steroids.

"He has too much to lose."

A twenty-year old catcher selected in the 62nd round of the amateur draft had nothing to lose by taking steroids, and everything to gain.  True that now, as a forty-year-old Hall of Fame candidate, he has a lot to lose.  But now isn't when he's being accused of taking steroids.  If he did take them, he has too much to lose now largely because he took them.

"And he's such a nice young man. He goes to church, he's got a nice family."

Yes, believe it or not, even nice young men who go to church are not exempt from taking steroids.  Sammy Sosa is deeply religious.  It didn't prevent him from (allegedly) sticking a needle in himself. 

"This is a guy that should be in the Hall of Fame. He's out-homered every catcher that's in there."

This one really requires no comment.

As I said, I love Tommy Lasorda.  And I will not say that Piazza took drugs.  But saying that he couldn't have, because of his family, or his faith, or his personal character, does not hold water.  In fact, he's basically saying that Alex Rodriguez, Jose Canseco, Jason Giambi, Andy Pettitte, Ken Caminiti, and any other admitted steroids user comes from bad stock, is not Christian, and has questionable moral fiber.

But no one's immune, Tommy.  Least of all a 62nd-round draft pick who went on to become the all-time home run king for catchers.

Jeff Bradley, of ESPN: The Magazine, wrote a terrific article on Manny Ramirez. 

He goes where most fans either don't know how to look, or just don't bother: Manny's preparation.  For every hour that we see Ramirez trotting around, wearing his iPod earbuds and chatting with opposing players while his own teammates stretch and run sprints, there are many many hours we don't see.  Hours where Manny is in the tunnels, taking extra batting practice.  Watching game tape.  Preparing himself.

And unlike most hitters, he takes it seriously.  Combined with an inate feel, which allows him to convert all of the old fundamentals and really internalize them and produce results with them, he enters every at-bat with a decided advantage.  Pure natural talent, combined with intense preparation, is a winning combination every time.

It's what separates Ramirez, a 13th-overall pick in 1991, from someone like J.D. Drew, the 2nd-overall pick by the Philadelphia Phillies in 1997.  For those who don't remember, Drew and his agent - Scott Boras - said that they would not sign for less than $10m.  Instead of going to the Phillies, J.D. spent a year playing for the St. Paul Saints of the independent Northern League.  A year later, the St. Louis Cardinals made Drew the 5th-overall pick.

In Buzz Bissinger's book, Three Nights in August, Tony LaRussa complained at length about Drew, who had all the pure talent in the world, but absolutely no work ethic.  Drew's time in St. Louis was pretty much a waste, and after a good year in Atlanta, he came to Los Angeles to once again display his pure apathy.  He then moved on to Boston, where he was Manny's teammate for a season and a half.

So who would you rather have: Former Dodger/current Red Sox J.D. Drew, or former Red Sox/current Dodger Manny Ramirez?

Each is a pure talent, not unlike Ramirez, which has allowed them to continue to put up decent numbers.  But Ramirez is one of the best hitters in baseball, because in addition to his talent, he brings to the table intense preparation.

Their splits for the time they spent playing in the same lineup:

	G	PA	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	IBB	SO	HBP	SH	SF	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Drew	233	941	784	151	216	50	7	30	122	141	14	169	5	0	11	.276	.385	.472	.857
Ramirez	233	994	848	150	252	55	2	40	156	123	21	178	15	0	8	.297	.392	.508	.901

Bear in mind, of course, that Manny is four years older than Drew.

During Ramirez's final two months in Boston, after "quitting on them," Drew was the only Red Sox position player (with the possible exception of David Ortiz, who only pieced together 23 at-bats during that stretch due to injury) who outperformed Ramirez.

Manny was fifth on the team during June and July 2008 in batting average.  Manny had 159 at-bats during that time.  The four players who led him in BA: David Ortiz (23 at-bats), Sean Casey (61 at-bats), Dustin Pedroia (204 at-bats), and Kevin Youkilis (173 at-bats).

He was tops in On-Base Percentage, third in slugging (behind Drew and Ortiz), and third in OPS (also behind Drew and Ortiz.)

These numbers don't necessarily prove that one is better than the other, but the two are similar "types" - highly-touted draft picks.  Ramirez was drafted out of high school; Drew out of Florida State University.   Both have made some extremely bone-headed moves, and have shown a tendency to "lag" at times in their careers.  The difference is that, even when Ramirez was lagging, he was tearing the cover off of the ball.

Simply look at the best seasons of each of their respective careers.  In 2000 with the Indians, Ramirez went .351/.457/.697 with 38 HR, 122 RBI, 86 BB, and 117 K.  In 2001 with the Cardinals, Drew went .323/.411/.613 with 27 HR, 73 RBI, 57 BB, and 75 K.

Despite being four years older, during the eleven seasons during which Drew has been in the majors, Ramirez has only had one season in which he played in fewer than 130 games.  Drew has only played in 130 or more during five of those seasons.

When I was sixteen and competing for a spot on my local high school team, the incumbent third baseman was a Louisville Slugger High School All-American.  With every swing of the bat, it seemed he was setting league, division, and state records.  I was content to sit on the bench, eagerly awaiting my turn to become a star.

The following year, while I was turning heads in my own right, he kept coming back.  The Big Man on Campus, fresh off being drafted by a Major League Baseball team, continued to come home to play Big Shot at his own high school campus.  No doubt after being just another guy in minor league camp, or a utility infielder for a Class A Short Season team, he craved validation.  And coming back to his old stomping grounds, where he was universally hailed as a conquering hero, provided just the boost he needed.

I, on the other hand, always thought it was a bit pathetic.

So when Seth Rogen Eric Gagne came to Camelback Ranch today during the Dodgers' spring training, it struck me as a bit sad.  The former BMOC trying desperately to regain some of his swagger by being pampered and adored.  And the news that he would be forgoing surgery following a tear in his rotator cuff, opting instead for a cortisone shot, didn't exactly strike me as very prudent.

Look, Eric, it's over.  Just move on, man.  You had a good supplier run.

Recently, I purchased a new bagel slicer.  I love my new bagel slicer; it makes life so much easier for me.

What I didn't realize when I bought it, however, was that it was actually a model for the Florida Miami Marlins' new ballpark:

The new stadium, which I suspect will be named Larien Products Field soon enough, is great news for Miami and for the Marlins. As a fellow Jew, I feel safe in saying that this should be a great draw in South Florida.  And leave it to a Jewish owner, Jeffrey Loria, to key in on something that our people could believe in so strongly: Evenly-sliced bagels.

In quite possible the least-surprising move of the offseason, the Dodgers released reliever Yhency Brazoban today.

Happy Trails, Tony Gwynn Yhency, we hardly knew you.  Literally.  You threw just 115 big league innings over six years, an average of just over 19 innings a year.

This marks the end of the Kevin Brown era in Los Angeles.  One of the more questionable free agent contracts in recent Dodgers history, we did manage to squeeze a few good years out of Brown before dealing him to the Yankees for Brazoban, Jeff Weaver, and Brandon Weeden. 

Weeden never made the majors and is now out of baseball, Weaver gave us some competent years before free agency took him to the Angels, and from there to the Cardinals, Mariners, Brewers, and Indians organizations over the last three years.

I know, it's ironic that, after blasting Boston fans for hanging on Manny Ramirez's every move, I am about to post about Andruw Jones.  Of four blog entries, two have been about this guy... and my complaint are largely the same as theirs: He quit on the team.

That said, there is a huge difference.  Manny helped to deliver two World Series championships, breaking an 86-year drought for Boston.  Andruw, on the other hand, stole from us.

T.R. Sullivan of MLB.com recently reported that Jones, who is unlikely to make the Rangers' roster despite going .258/.324/.419 this spring, has a decision to make: Accept an assignment to the minor leagues (likely AAA Oklahoma City) or opt out for free agency.

Jones has certainly shown that he's worthy of a look by a major league team, especially one weak in the outfield.  His price is sure to be low, too, as the Dodgers are paying him more money than I will ever make in my life, and they're paying it for him to play somewhere else. 

When asked whether he would stay with the team that took a chance on him when no one else will - and when he'd proven that he was probably not worth it - or leave for free agency, he replied, "I don't know yet. Scott said he'll call me tomorrow. I can't say anything right now. Ask me tomorrow and I'll have a definite answer for you."

The Scott in question is Scott Boras.

Andruw Jones has let a lot of people down in his lifetime, and I have absolutely no doubt that he'll continue to let a lot of people down.  The way to win your way back into public favor, I think it's safe to say, is not by consulting with Scott Freaking Boras!

If you learn anything from your time in Los Angeles, let it be this: Handlers, especially particularly infamous ones like Boras, do not have your ultimate best interests at heart.  They have their best interests at heart.  I know, he talks fancy and tells you you're pretty and holds your hand when nobody else will.

But he's bad for you, Andy.  He's not your friend; he's your agent.  Make your decision from your heart.  Don't let your agent make up your mind for you.  Here in Los Angeles, the entertainment capital of the world, there's sort of an unofficial credo: You don't work for your agent.  Your agent works for you.

5-0: The score of Japan's victory over Cuba, eliminating them from the 2009 World Baseball Classic.

4-2: The record of the Cuban team in this year's WBC. 

100: Percentage of Cuba's 2009 WBC losses that came to Japan.

3: Consecutive losses by Cuba to Japan in the WBC.

40: Finals played by Cuba in international baseball competition since 1952 (World Cup, Intercontinental Cup, Olympics, and World Baseball Classic)

33: Number of those finals won by Cuba.

49: Number of international tournaments Cuba has played in since 1939.

38: Number of those tournaments Cuba has won.

I was late to blog about this, but I haven't seen much reaction online to this T.J. Simers article in the Los Angeles Times about Boston Red Sox fans' continued reaction to Manny Ramirez, who is now happily ensconced here in (as they like to call us) "La La Land."

And here's the thing: He's absolutely right. 

Manny's biggest complaint about his time in Boston was that the fans were suffocating him.  They were relentless. They obsessed over his every move; wouldn't leave him alone.  And their continued obsession seems to suggest that he likely wasn't very far off-base.  They continue to monitor his every move.  An injury to Manny is, to hear them tell it, a good thing for Boston sports.

Here, Manny is a baseball celebrity.  That doesn't rank terribly high on the list of Los Angeles must-stalks.  We spend our days on the 405 hoping to high hell Lindsay Lohan doesn't come along and drunk-drive us off the road.  By the time we get to worrying about Manny's hair or a sore hamstring in Spring Training for a guy who's only been on the team for a short while, we're exhausted and it's time to close the newspaper.

It doesn't help that their closer, Jonathan Rocker Papelbon, has an interview in Esquire magazine in which he still obsesses, saying that Manny was a "cancer" in Boston.  More recently, Johnny P told a Boston newspaper that "It takes 25 guys on a team to win, not 24, and that was blatantly obvious... if you're not in that same cubbyhole with the rest of the guys going to war with you, you're all going to die. That almost happened."

Thanks for those insightful words of wisdom, Kellen Winslow. 

He would also have you believe that Jason Bay (affectionately dubbed "Johnny Ballgame" by the kind-hearted Papelbon) is an upgrade to Ramirez.  He's not.  Similarity scores show that the batters closest to Bay at his age are Geoff Jenkins and Ryan Klesko.  Solid contributors; not Hall of Fame candidates.  Closest to Manny?  Ken Griffey, Jr., Jimmy Foxx, and Frank Robinson.

And even when he was twenty-nine, the player most similar to him at that point in his career was Duke Snider.

Jason Bay is good.  Jason Bay is no Manny.  And Jason Bay, the clean-nosed kid from British Columbia, is not a matinee idol.

Which I guess is why Bostonians must continue to rely on Manny Ramirez for their headlines.  With a rapidly-declining David Ortiz, a disaster-waiting-to-happen Papelbon, and the Canadian bore Jason Bay, they need to obsess on something.

It might as well be Los Angeles.  After all, we're used to having our celebrities worshipped.

If I was Mark Loretta's agent, I'd tell him to begin calling himself Mar-Lo, and run around quoting Christopher Marlowe plays, claiming to have actually been Shakespeare, and wearing Elizabethan Breeches.

Just a thought.

According to Jon Heyman, talk around Dodgers camp is of Mark Loretta being traded to the Yankees, possibly for young pitcher Ian Kennedy. 

On the one hand, the move makes sense for the Dodgers, despite the fact that they just signed the utilityman Loretta, and have yet to dress him up in his pretty blue and white and trot him out for a real game.  He's basically a more-polished version of Blake DeWitt, with more tread on his tires.  When we signed Orlando Hudson, the backup infielders positions became much more interesting.

C: Russell Martin
1B: James Loney
2B: Orlando Hudson
3B: Casey Blake
SS: Rafael Furcal
LF: Manny Ramirez
CF: Matt Kemp
RF: Andre Ethier

Bench
C Brad Ausmus
IF Blake DeWitt
IF Mark Loretta/Chin-Lung Hu/Tony Abreu
OF Juan Pierre
OF Jamie Hofmann/Xavier Paul/Jason Repko/Delwyn Young

DeWitt, Ausmus, and Pierre are sure things for the bench.  The remaining infield spot would go to Loretta, Hu, or Abreu.  Loretta is the better of the three, but he's a movable piece.  If you can get something from him in a trade, you're probably better off doing so and plugging Hu in as the second utilityman.

On the other hand, this is the stupidest imaginable trade we could make right now.  The Dodgers need pitching.  Our rotation right now:

Chad Billingsley
Hiroki Kuroda
Randy Wolf
Clayton Kershaw
Jason Schmidt/Claudio Vargas/Shawn Estes/Jeff Weaver/My Grandmother/Tommy Lasorda

Billingsley, Kuroda, and Kershaw average 250 major league innings pitched between them.  Combined, they've thrown just 728.2, five more than 24-year-old left-handed Scott Kazmir.  Adding Kennedy, who has thrown fewer than 60, is not the best move we can make.

Kennedy is a promising young major league-ready pitching prospect.  That's an invaluable commodity.  The problem is that so is half of our current rotation.  The point at which you trade Mark Loretta for Ian Kennedy is about the same as the point where you just decide to promote James McDonald and add him to the rotation, already.

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The year was 1993.  Bill Clinton had been elected president for the first time a few months earlier, and the Dodgers looked positively stacked, with a killer Opening Day lineup:

Andruw Jones apologized to Dodgers fans today.  How sweet.

Hey, listen.  I know I was a fat **** who couldn't hit his way out of a paper bag, and who had the audacity to question fans for booing at me because of it.  Sorry about that.  And thanks for continuing to pay my salary despite my complete ineptitude while I played for you. 

Gosh, Andy, we all forgive you.  We can see how truly sorry you are, and we all voted on whether or not to let you back into our hearts.  Guess what?  We decided to do it!  I mean, you know, as long as you're sorry.

I'm so thrilled I started a blog because of it!

In fact, we weren't booing at all!  We were yelling 'druuuuuuw.  Because, you know, that's how much we loved you.  It's really too bad you took it the wrong way and got your feelings hurt.

I mean, we made a jersey for you with your name on it and the number of pounds you'd gained in the offseason and everything!


(This is a great picture because it appears that you're standing on base, but the Mets in the background appear to be stretching.  Which explains how you got on base, but unfortunately for us all, singles during pre-game warmups don't really count in the official stats.)

Andy, you got paid $14,726,910.00 last year.  For that salary, you gave us 52 total bases.  Plus, you walked 27 times and were hit by one pitch.  That's a grand total of 80 bases you earned for us in 2008.  In other words, you got paid $184,086.38 for every base you earned.

Even if we included your magnificent numbers in Triple-A Las Vegas, you made $137,634.67 per base earned.

The next highest-paid player per base?  Rafael Furcal, with $125,841.56, and at least he performed well in the playoffs.  You remember the playoffs, don't you Andy?  Oh no, that's right.  You'd already quit on the team by then.

But hey, apology accepted!  We'll be paying you $3.7M per year through 2014 to play for someone else.  And you know what's weird?  Somehow, I feel that's a sounder investment.